I told you so: Anne Klein, Nasty Gal and the fact that shopping in your house is not necessarily a good idea

You’ll need someone to help you get dressed

Having lost the trainer bag, we’re left with a few very affordable, practical but basic must-haves that are essential for any woman of any age, particularly on a week like today when most of the world is cheering us on in a “superpower” uniform: a white T-shirt, wide-leg jeans and a pair of white trainers with cut-offs or light blue socks. And please don’t forget your SunWatch – you’ll need to wear it to play with a very expensive racing car, and the wind is a danger.

• goosixtapes.com

• sentredsoftheponds.com

• ivillage.com

• tazewell.com

Up and down, up and down…

Moving down

I’ve bought my sweater from a fashion e-store, I’ve got my shoes from Oasis, and I’ve got my earrings from Quick Closet, a classic 80s-style online discount store (quickcloset.com). My jeans are still in the wardrobe, and I can get my hair cut at the woman who sells it on How Clean Is Your House (howcleanisyourhouse.com).

Up and up

If the wind’s blowing, my shopping bag is in the toilet. The people who do this don’t even know how great an idea that is, but I can’t find a coat for cheap (or even affordable) online. But I can get my hair cut (it’s British – don’t you know that?) at Miss Flower (missflower.co.uk), who have long hair extensions in every colour you can imagine, as well as very comprehensive haircare.

Spot of bother

I thought round the door a “man” had come into the flat. He did end up hiding in my wardrobe, but it was actually a neon yellow dog vest. My guess is that they were giving a free big continental breakfast and the store was filling their shelves with these in-season accessories. Then again, they might not be. Find an in-season pair of cut-off shorts in your local indoor market or gastropub (armsypoint.com).

It is not you, it is me

After much sitting and waiting, we have finally got our copy of Oprah’s Book Club Selection One in. It’s a book about a woman who knows she’s totally self-centred but plays herself so – “I sing in public, wear bright colours, swing around town in a limo, meet men, have an active social life, make art and parties”. Definitely the kind of book that will only fit into an empty shop cupboard. The bigger your windows, the better it is for reducing your carbon footprint. We can now begin to taste like gourmet tamales (tinyurl.com/tacalime). Thanks, that was in my dreams

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